#10 9/11 Conspiracy Theorists

Oh for fuck’s sake, the Other One is such a self-righteous windbag. What a blathering fool! He wants to convince the world the HE was responsible for 9/11. Hate to break it to you folks, but the Other One had NOTHING to do with it. I actually masterminded the entire plot! I got my minions, Osama and Bush, to carry out my little plan. Yes, they were in on it together. You might as well know it. Fucking Other One. I suppose he’s doing a little dance that he’s gotten me to admit this.

The thing about it is that the theorists have most of their story right. I LOVE you 9/11 conspiracy theorists! You have given credit where it is due. Yes, the World Trade Center Buildings were wired with explosives. Yes, United 93 was shot down by the military. Yes, Muslim terrorists hijacked airplanes and flew them into the buildings. And it was all because of ME, ME, ME!!

The part my little darlings have not yet put together is that Osama and Bushie are friends with each other and do my bidding. Now my secret is out. Ah well, it was bound to happen anyway. When my little friend Johnny McCain is elected president of the United States (which I plan to ensure), he is planning to toss Bushie to the wolves as a means of deflecting attention from himself. It will be delightful! I love backstabbing nastiness and intrigue! I can barely contain my excitement thinking about it. My anus is throbbing at the thought.

The Other One knows I am responsible for 9/11. This pisses him off. So he takes credit. Whatever buddy. Get over yourself. I WIN again!